do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
