I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
