Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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