Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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