i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
