she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
