if you like me you must not know who I am
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
