I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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