you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
