yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
