so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
