You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Terrible idea I love it
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
