i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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