you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
