speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
