I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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