Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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