I didn't shave. On purpose
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
