you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
