That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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