I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
