every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
