You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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