brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
