You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
