I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
