well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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