id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
