I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
