Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
