I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
