May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
one two three fourrrrnication!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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