A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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