And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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