I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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