singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
