Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
