WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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