it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
