There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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