We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
