She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
