Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Small penises have feelings too.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
