It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
