I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
