Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
