I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
