Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
