It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
