Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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