Whod you bang
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
