Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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